Dear Charlie,
I know you're young and all, so I find it amusing that you still use the mailbox just to send your letters to me. I thought receiving letters via courier is beyond our time already so I was really surprised when your first mail arrived. When I started reading the first few lines I knew that you're just another teenager trying to deal with a lot of issues. I didn't finish it, to tell you the truth, because I didn't want to go through with the same feeling I had back when I was dealing with my own teenage issues.
But then another letter came up. And then another. And another. The letters piled up fast that my family actually taught I have a prisoner pen pal because only prisoners use mailboxes these days. I didn't try to correct them because you know what? I don't care what they think. Just like I didn't care when I was trying to find my own identity and it scared people off because I don't talk much or I say brutally honest stuff the rare times I opened my mouth.
Because I am busy as all people my age are and I don't have time with "small stuff" such as dealing with your life, I just kept your letters under my pillow. Eventually your letters have raised my pillows too high up and it was getting uncomfortable sleeping that I couldn't ignore your letters anymore. I was happy that I didn't just throw it away.
As I read your stories I couldn't help to think of my own life. The decisions I've made, the frustrations I had, the good times with my friends - All of these played out in my head as if it just happened to me yesterday. It was really interesting to read your stories because it so easily resembled my own. By the time I caught up with all your letters I can't help but anticipate the next. Wondering what you were gonna share next really got me excited. Suffice it to say that it made my life more meaningful because I have something to look forward to.
I know how it feels to have an overachieving older brother. People would constantly compare him to you. Its like what your friend Patrick said that nobody can be as big as the Beatles because they already gave music a context. They had no one to compare themselves with so they're their own benchmark. Your brother is the Beatles in your family and even if you end up as The Smiths or Greenday or the Eraserheads some people would still think little of you because someone else has set the benchmark. But you know what? Sometimes it's okay not to care because they don't really know you. There's a fat chance they don't know your brother well enough as well. They're just there trying to degrade you because the only way they can make their life less miserable is if they think someone else have it worse.
Going back to your friend Patrick, I was really worried when he dragged you in all those weird places doing those weird things. I know he was down and all, but using drugs and allowing him to kiss you will only harm you in the end. I'm going with your friend Sam here. You gotta learn to be honest with the people you care about. Only then will they truly appreciate you being their friend. Personally I would rather hear the bad things about me from a friend than from someone I barely know. Yes it hurts and all but that's the whole point of friendship! You make your friend a much better person in the end by pointing out his wrongs even if it hurts. Patrick seems to be a nice person so please be more honest with him. He deserves it.
I was really glad that it all turned out well for your sister. She said that Sam and later on Mary Elizabeth have low self-esteem, but I can also say the same about her. I'm glad she ended it with her boyfriend who hits her and almost got her pregnant. I think she realized she's far more important than how she was being treated. Please congratulate her for me for being 2nd in her class.
I also wanted to talk about your friend Bill. Boy how I wish I have a mentor as cool as he is! I don't know half of the books he assigned you to read, but I'll surely read it if I can find time. As I said earlier, people my age are busy with a lot of stuff so reading for past time is a bit difficult. If I have it my way I'd read everyday, of course. I don't think you know how special it is that someone is looking out for you. He even invited you to his place because he really cares for you. He understands you, but he also expects a lot from you, perhaps more than anyone else. Let him be your reminder that you are special, in your own peculiar way, just like I am special in my own peculiar way.
About what happened to you and your aunt Helen, I guess I don't have to dwell on this much because first, it is a sore topic, and second, I know you have figured it out already. What you have with your life is just different with everyone else, it doesn't mean that it's better or worse. And you can't blame other people for your problems. They have their own to deal with.
Lastly, about your friend Sam. Yes, she has her flaws in thinking that her world revolves around her then-boyfriend Craig, but she recognized it later on and wanted to make her life better. That's why she said hurtful things to you because she knew you needed to toughen up. Never ever think that a person loves you because you act or do things the way they want to. Sam thought that Craig will love her less if she pursues her passion. I know Craig is an ass and that's something beyond Sam, but we can't be stuck with our old self in trying to please others. Including our boyfriend or girlfriend. Including our families and friends.
There are days that you will feel terrible. You have to accept that. Sometimes you just have to stop looking back, because the decisions you have made, no matter how wrong or stupid can never be taken back. All we can do is move forward; else we get stuck to the same rotten spot where we made a stupid decision that made us feel terrible to begin with.
Life is a journey. It doesn’t stop when you’re down or lonely. It doesn’t stop on happy endings. Time does not pause for us, it continues to go on. Sometimes it feels that time moves too slow or too fast, but it has always gone on the same phase every hour, every second of the day. We just choose to be fixated on lonely moments and tend to neglect the happy ones. Please don't do that to yourself, Charlie. You determine how fast or slow you live.
I haven't figured it out yet, but I think the best way to live your life is to stay true to yourself and be who you want to be. Not what others want you to become.
Thank you for reminding me this. Again people my age are busy with other stuff that I tend to forget these things. I am a little sad because you mentioned in your last letter that it may be your last, but I wouldn't want you to tell me things that are happening to you just for the sake of keeping in touch with me because then it will be forced and the stories may not sound as interesting anymore. I know you are there somewhere trying to live your life the best way you know. And that makes everything okay for me.
I wish you all the best.
Sincerely,
Your friend.
P.S.
I hope you didn't mind that I sent all your letters to an editor and they published it as a book. I was gonna ask permission to you but you didn't put your address. Now I hear they made a movie out of it. Can you believe that?! I just hope they can tell the story as fantastic as you've written it.
*Fingers crossed*
